Last night we had two classes in one because our counselor will not be in town the following week. Honestly, I'm not sure why they limit these things to once per week except to stretch this as much as possible into one of the most frustrating things you have to do to get your license back. If I could, I'd take one per day just to get this over with.
I arrived at 5:40pm. We were expected there at 5:45pm. There were two others waiting for Ann, our counselor- one had been there for over half an hour. Ann had just shown up a few minutes before and had gone in her office, locking the outside door, so we waited in the hallway. I don't know what that was all about, but eventually she unlocked the door and let us in. One at a time, we took our turns going in to make our payments. When it was my turn, I was ready. As I'd mentioned before, Ann's focus was short-lived, so I had to work fast. I had two questions for her. One, I needed to switch to Wednesdays for two weeks in May because I was to be away. She kind of blinked at me, hesitated, but then said 'Welllll, I guess that's okay. But you could just skip the classes.' I guess most people skip a fair amount of classes, which explains why some of them have said they've been there for a year or more. I was adamant about not missing classes if I didn't have to- it only means I spend more time with these people watching dumb videos. This was good news, though, because it meant I got to spend some time with my parents on my birthday and I can still aim for being done with ADAPT at the end of July.
The second question was about AA. I had attended my first meeting the night before, but wasn't sure how on earth I was going to prove this to her since she'd not said anything to us about it nor given us anything to get signed. She said 'Oh, didn't I give you the form already?' and I said no. She handed me one- she only had two copies with her, so I guess most people were skipping AA and staying in the class for 30 weeks. No thank you.. The form was as one of the other members had described it the previous week: you write your name, the name of the place you went to your AA meeting, the topic discussed, and a few sentences about what you learned. No one signed it except your counselor. There was no way of knowing if you really went or not. I guess for some programs, you have to get proof of attendance, but not for ADAPT or VASAP. So, obviously it's pretty easy to cheat on this requirement. Then why make a requirement in the first place? And from what I've seen so far, VASAP and ADAPT are not really geared to helping someone with a real alcohol or drug problem. AA is a much better program for someone with a problem, so why make this requirement so loose? I probably should stop complaining because this means I don't really have to go to AA. But I'm not a bad person and I have trouble cheating. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do yet. My point here, though, is that someone with a real problem gets ignored in these programs and I'd venture to say that at least half of the people in my class have a problem. I'd have to say the other half may not rely on alcohol, but they think nothing of getting totally wasted and driving home afterwards and have already shown through multiple DUIs that they will continue to do this. Going to VASAP or ADAPT is not keeping them from doing this or teaching them why this is wrong. So no one is learning anything from any of this and that just irks me.
Ann's paperwork took a long time. She didn't come out of her office until 6:30pm. It was obvious that we weren't getting out of there on time. I'd spent about 45 minutes on the cold, hard folding chair and my ass was already numb. I saw the title of the film was written on the whiteboard and I groaned. It was Life as a House. I'd already seen this movie three times. It has very little to do with alchol and drug dependency, but the main character struggles to make amends in his life before dying, so I guessed that was why Ann chose this film. It's a little bit of a stretch, but whatever.
Some of the other members of the class started to talk about what happened last week. They said a new member of the class had switched to another night because he was upset that it had been so disruptive. They were bitching about it and trying to figure out who it was, but no one recalled the man. I did. I was a little put-off by this. Ann was correct in addressing the situation with those who were at fault, but she should never have said how she knew about it. If this fellow had returned to class- or if he ever does return to class- there's a good chance the others will figure it out and make matters worse. I wouldn't mess with some of these guys and Ann definitely did not use good judgement on this.
Ann came out and as she fussed over loading the video (a VHS tape that had seen better days), she told us that the movie addressed Step 4 from AA. Step 4 is about making a moral inventory of ourselves....well, the movie only focuses on that for about ten minutes total and it would have been more accurate to say it was akin to Step 9 (making amends). Ann also told us that the lead in the movie had a car accident and that's why he's seeking to right his life. I nodded my head- I try to make sure I'm very nice to her and compliant in class- all the while wondering 'Has she ever even seen this movie?' The lead character has cancer, not a car accident. It made me realize that either she hadn't seen the movie in a long time or she's never watched the whole thing, herself. She said she shows this film every year, but so far she's spent the majority of time in her office with the door closed.
The movie was funny, but not because of the content. The other members of my class made constant remarks and I found myself laughing a lot. I appreciated them that evening because otherwise I think it would have been agonizing sitting there watching a movie for the fourth time. The only times I was truly bored was when they'd leave for smoke breaks (they were permitted to do so) and the room would be quiet.
As predicted, Ann stayed in her office almost the entire time. She left only once to use the bathroom. Towards the end, someone noticed that it was already after 8pm and they all started growing impatient to leave. One of them knocked on Ann's door and she came out asking 'Is the movie over?', looked at the TV and said 'It's not over yet'. There were protests that it was 'over enough' and it was already 8:20pm. A few minutes later, the movie finally ended and she addressed the class. She said a few words about it, no questions, no discussion really, and reminded us that we didn't have class the following week. And that was it. Everyone made a mad dash for the door.
On the way out, I was behind two of the members and I heard one say that his wife texted him that there was a police checkpoint on one of the roads that night (it was St. Patrick's Day). I didn't think much of it, but he was trying to avoid it. It didn't really occur to me until I started driving that it was probably in my best interest to avoid it, too. I don't have a real license, just a restricted one and they might harrass me as a result. I drove home and saw the road block, but it started just past where I needed to turn. But that's also the dumb part. I turned onto a major road that eventually takes you to another place to get onto the highway the police were blocking. If you were out drinking and driving that night, all you had to do was make the same turn I did and you could easily avoid them. They'd have been better off moving it up to before that intersection so you couldn't avoid it, but, hey, whatever. I counted myself as lucky that night, but I find that sad. I wasn't out drinking and driving, I was out paying for my conviction, but I knew damned well I may not have had an easy time of it regardless. How long would it be like this??
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